Prom Night (2008)

One of two things that will seemingly be around forever in Horror is the Slasher Film. Many would argue when John Carpenter made Halloween in 1978, he kick-started the sub-genre. Of course, there are fans who feel Bob Clark beat Carpenter to the punch with 1974's Black Christmas, but the argument is something for another time and, indeed, another place. The point is, both of those movies are fine examples of "smart" Slasher pictures. And, unfortunately, in their wake, they spawned innumerable entries that consistently dumbed the genre down more and more. One of those many titles is 1980's Prom Night, which starred Jamie Lee Curtis as she and her friends are stalked by a masked madman with an axe to grind.

And, unfortunately, the second thing that will never die in Horror is the dreaded REMAKE. Every time a new classic title is announced to have boarded the Remake Train, there seem to be two responses from fans: "Fuck remakes!" or "Let's do it!" As far as I'm concerned, since Dawn of the Dead and Halloween have both been remade, anything is fair game, so there's really no use complaining about it.

Prom Night is the newest Horror remake. And, right from the beginning, this ain't your older cousin's Prom Night and, sadly, there's no disco soundtrack -- what? no big dance number? -- this time around (or Leslie Nielsen for that matter). Prom Night (2008) is one of those "remake by name only" movies, where a studio tries to capitalize off of a classic title and the young target audience pisses on the original title as being "cheesy" and outdated. TV director Nelson McCormick must not be much of a Slasher fan because he forgot all of the essential elements....but we'll get to that in a second.

The story concerns Donna Keppel (played by Brittany Snow from the Hairspray remake), her boyfriend and their four other friends as they're stalked by a killer on the night of their senior prom -- that's pretty much where the similarities to the OG Prom Night begin and end. Unlike the original's masked killer (which, today, doesn't even seem that cool -- what? A black glittery ski-mask?), Nelson McCormick introduces his killer in the first five minutes and shows his face. See that? Suspense and Mystery just took off on an all-expenses paid trip to Cabbo for Spring Break courtesy of Sony Screen Gems. An essential element in just about every single Slasher movie worth its weight in blood is the "Who Dunnit?" story arc. Sometimes it's pretty obvious, while other times the audience is thrown for a helluva loop that asks them to ignore certain plot holes during the reveal -- but it's always FUN. You would've thought the major studios got the clue that mystery is essential after Dimension Films peeked under the tree in Black Christmas (2006) by showing and explaining who Billy is. Sheesh.

Okay so, Nelson McCormick, your Slasher movie doesn't have much surprise or mystery to it....what else can the audience look forward to? That's right! Graphic, on-screen kills that are done in really cool ways so that the audience will go "Aaahhh!" and cheer. Sadly, there's none of that here either. It's not clear whether this movie was shot with the intention of being PG-13 all along or not, but damn . . . there's not much blood on-screen at all. Sony Screen Gems, you're killing me here! Victims are stabbed repeatedly and throats are slashed...but there is hardly a drop of blood to be found. At least one body is shown in a white, tiled bathroom that is so spotless, you could serve an entree on the floor. Maybe since it's 2008 and the disco music has been replaced by crunkin' club hip hop, perhaps Slasher movie victims don't bleed like they used to? Seriously....when the killer has a wicked-looking knife and uses it to turn some annoying kids into pin cushions, it should be expected that there'd be a ton of blood (or at least a reasonable amount of red stuff on a victim's white shirt).

Some things Prom Night '08 do manage to retain from its Slasher forefathers are a lack of logic, wooden acting, and actors who are older than 17 playing high schoolers (Scott Porter, who plays Bobby, is almost 30 years old). In terms of logic, there are too many incidents to count where foreheads will be slapped and eyes will roll. Here's an acting and logic double damn: when a character is pissed at not winning Prom Queen, she utters a "shit" and tears up....yet, even though we're told how much she wants to be Prom Queen, we don't get any payoff after she doesn't win the honor. I still say she should've showed up at Donna's house later on and demanded a recount! Or, yet another character who's also in the running for Prom Queen (she repeatedly makes it known how important it is for her to win) decides to go up to the hotel room to have sex with her boyfriend shortly after the house DJ announces that the King and Queen ceremony will be underway in a few. What?!?

Speaking of logic, Donna and her friends have some major beef with a girl named Crissy, whom they dub "Rich-Bitch". Crissy's on the Prom planning crew and reportedly went $100,000 over her budget, so her daddy wrote a check to cover it all. First off, what school not named Beverly Hills High would allow for any school-related function (outside of maybe a pep rally for its star football or wrestling team) to cost in excess of that amount?!? On top of that, Donna and her friends seem to have a chip against Crissy because she's got money....yet these kids all pitch in for a ssssssstrech limo, have nice digital cameras, live in fat houses (at least Donna does), and can afford what looks like a penthouse apartment suite at a hotel that is surely not a Days Inn. Really? The suite the three couples are sharing is bigger than the house I grew up in! Also, when all of the couples are arriving at the hotel for the prom, why is there a fenced off area with a bunch of punters/paparazzi camped out and cheering for them? This is the prom, not the red carpet premiere for the movie!

One other aspect remakes of Horror classics love to do -- or should at least try to do -- is have some sort of nod to the original movie. Some people roll their eyes at it, but others like me love to point that shit out. In some way, it shows that the people behind said remake have some sort of affection and respect for the source material. Dawn of the Dead did it with Scott H. Reiniger and Ken Foree (who even says his famous line from Romero's classic movie), Invasion of the Body Snatchers had Kevin McCarthy, Black Christmas did it by casting Andrea Martin as Mrs. Mac, and Halloween even had series favorite Danielle Harris. Somewhere along the production of this movie, you'd think there were some phone calls made to David Fucci for a cameo, right? All we get is a brief cameo by Joshua Leonard from The Blair Witch Project (yeah, it's been almost ten years...). I feel so braindead after seeing this, I don't even remember if the school was named Hamilton High. At the very least, the initials for the school could've been JLC no?

In the end, Prom Night (2008) is just another one for the fire on a never-ending list of remakes to modern day classics. Thinking outside the box, I suppose it's only natural that the genre comes to this. I can imagine an older generation of fans being pissed off and shaking their fists when The Thing From Another World or Cat People were remade in '82. The bottom line: I'm sure you may enjoy this if you see it with a bunch of friends and laugh at how stupid it is, but it's not really worth paying good money for -- wait 'til it's available On Demand. Skip it!