Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

Right about now, you're probably asking yourself "Why is he starting with this turd?"  Truth is, it's the only one that I saw on its original theatrical release and, to this day, it holds some special value for me.  Since all three Jaws sequels were finally released on bluray this week, I thought I'd take a look back starting with what is arguably the worst of the bunch, but first, a little background...

If ever there was a movie series ingrained into my DNA outside of the usual suspects -- Indiana Jones, Rocky, etc. -- it would definitely be the Jaws franchise.  One of my favorite childhood memories is of one of my first walks with my Dad to the local general store in my hometown (even though it was around the block from our house, it may as well have been a few miles to my tiny legs).  Before that, I had always been carried, but this time I insisted on walking myself.  Once we got there, Dad bought me a rubber toy shark, which I distinctly remember being carded and having the Jaws logo on it; turns out it that it was an original Chem Toys rubber shark from 1975.  To this day, I'm amazed that I still have the thing and it's still in as great condition as it is . . .

This guy swallowed many a G.I. Joe and Star Wars figure in the bath tub!

Another cool tie to the Jaws franchise was a local place called The Forge & Anvil.  From what I understand, it was actually where my parents first met, and today it would be akin to a sports bar (though it's sadly gone).  Mom and Dad used to take me there frequently for pizza and, no joke, it always seemed that one of the first two Jaws movies was playing on TV when we'd be there!  When I watch the movies today, I can't help but feel nostalgic for watching them from atop a stool in that crowded bar! 

In 1987, when Jaws:  The Revenge was released, my parents took me to see it at the then newly-opened Princeton MarketFair in West Windsor, NJ.  At the time, to my 4yr old eyes, the screen that we saw the movie on seemed like the size of a skyscraper!  I'll never forget just how gigantic it seemed during the shot of Jake being pulled underwater was shown!  From that point on, I was hot on everything Jaws:  The Revenge, even keeping two of the cool foldout advertisements from TV Guide!

This was half traumatizing and half cool as hell as a 4yr old!

The one above is the ad folded out and the one below is the unfolded version.

Let's be fair:  Jaws:  The Revenge is not a great film...it's not even a very good one for that matter.  But I'm positive that I'm still able to overlook its many shortcomings filtered through my own nostalgia for it. 

In an interesting spin on the series, the film starts off at Christmas time on Amity Island where Ellen Brody and her youngest son Sean are prepping dinner.  Following in his late father's footsteps (since Roy Scheider apparently said NOPE and is instead present via a framed photograph), Sean is now a deputy with the Amity PD when he gets called at the end of his shift.  In a particularly terrifying sequence, Sean is attacked by a shark out in the harbor. Meanwhile, Ellen is convinced that it's the same shark that killed Martin (via a heart-attack induced by fright over the damned thing no doubt) and it's now coming for her.  Eldest son Sean (once played by Dennis Quaid in Jaws 3D, but now is here played by Lance Guest of Halloween II) persuades Ellen to come stay with him and his family for the holidays in the Bahamas, where he is a marine biologist.  

I vaguely recall a TV version with the bloody area literally blacked out by a black box!

First Michael Myers and now Bruce The Shark!?

(cue "Holiday Road" by Linsdey Buckingham)

Apparently the Great White shark that killed Sean in the first reel has some sort of GPS and is then able to follow Ellen to the Bahamas for more fun!  Naturally, there's the scientific fact that sharks wouldn't be able to survive in this particular climate...but, just forget that and have fun with the movie.  Also along for the ride are Mario Van Peebles (with a silly island accent) and Michael Caine (as a love interest for Ellen), as the shark continues to terrorize Ellen and Michael (and eat a few people in the process).  What follows is a bit of a cat and mouse game (Mike and Van Peebles' Jake first spot the shark out in the water while they're working, but vow to hide it from Ellen and everyone else) combined with the type of psychological paranoia seen in Friday the 13th Part V before it finally climaxes in a fight to the death on the high seas.

Michael Caine:  "The movie bought me a house!  What'd you guys get?"

For me, the main standout sequence is the banana boat attack in the last half of the film.  Here, Michael's daughter is on a boat ride with a bunch of other kids when the shark suddenly attacks, killing an adult who basically sacrifices herself to save the little girl!  Mike's daughter of course goes into shock and the cat is finally out of the bag that the shark is here!  It's bloody and kinda brutal in that A.) Someone gets eaten by the shark and B.) That someone gets eaten by a shark in front of kids!  Another fun sequence is when Michael gets attacked in his little yellow submarine:  the shark tears it to pieces and then chases him into a wrecked ship.  Sure, it's got some really obvious shark mechanics on display (more on that later), but it was a pretty damned terrifying scene when I first saw the movie!

Somebody say Land Shark?!

Depending on when/how you watch Jaws:  The Revenge, you may see a completely different ending.  The US Theatrical Ending ("Ending #1) was what I most remember;  Jake is grabbed by the shark from the stern, presumably eaten, and Ellen rams the broken stern wood into the shark.  Shark bleeds out and breaks the front of the ship off, sinking to the bottom of the ocean with it.  The International Theatrical Ending ("Ending #2) also wound up as the US VHS/DVD and, today, most TV airings.  Here, Jake is grabbed by the shark, and Ellen rams the broken stern into it.  What differs here is that the shark inexplicably explodes on impact and this glorious death is padded out with footage from the original film.  Also in this ending, the heroes find themselves floating amongst busted up ship debris and Jake miraculously survives!  This bit is particularly cringe-worthy as it was shot in a tank on the Universal back lot exclusively for the international release . . . if you look closely, the "sky" is clearly a wall at the back of the tank that the "ocean" smacks up against numerous times! 



To me, Ending #2 further sabotages a film that could have been salvageable via some incredibly tight editing.  The scenes shot in the tank are so painfully out of place with the rest of the sequence that you can almost picture the cast stopping by the back lot for the shoot on their way to another gig.  One wonders why Universal felt the need for the different ending that has Jake survive; even as a kid, I was okay with him dying, as it added some additional weight to the struggle to finally kill the damned shark!  Having Jake miraculously survive being grabbed by a Great White, with only a torn shirt and some blood around him is almost as bad as having Jaws 3D's FitzRoyce remain fully intact inside the shark's mouth (after another character was already eaten after him).

Aside from the obvious problems Jaws:  The Revenge has going against it, I've always felt that it feels a little too much like a made for TV movie.  From the very beginning, the opening credits stink of cheap and lazy font.  And Michael Small's musical score feels cheap and uninspired throughout; even the classic John Williams theme is lame here.  Though it may be surprising that Director/Producer Joseph Sargent made a classic like The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, his major output was either episodic television or TV movies, making it fairly obvious why the film looks as shoddy as it does.  Clearly, Universal was squeezing the last few dollars it could out of a worn-out franchise while spending as little as possible.  This is unfortunate because, had some true talent been involved behind the scenes (Michael De Guzman's script is pretty inept -- with Ellen having flashbacks to scenes from Jaws when she wasn't even a part of them in the first place), this could have been something worth bragging about had it taken a The Final Chapter, The Final Nightmare, or The Final Friday approach that other genre franchises took.

Almost 30 (??!?) years later, we still haven't seen another sequel (despite Back To The Future Part II's promise of a Jaws 19 this year!), prequel (there always seemed to be hope for a film based on Quint's experience aboard the USS Indianapolis) or a remake/reboot of the original (thank God!) and one wonders if we'll ever see another Jaws movie.  Over the years, there have been various rumors about a fifth film focusing on the Matt Hooper character, but nothing has materialized beyond internet chatter.  Ultimately, for a franchise that continues to shape and define the modern movie blockbuster, it's a shame that its initial shine gradually deteriorated into the sun-dried dog turd that is Jaws:  The Revenge.