Rings (2017)

In 2002, director Gore Verbinski introduced American audiences to a cursed videotape and thereby kick-started the wave of American Remakes of Japanese Horror [or J-Horror as The Kids call it - ED.].  Much like any trend in film -- especially Horror -- the imitations quickly paled in comparison to the original.  The Ring was a fine film starring Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, and Brian Cox, which scared up millions at the box office for DreamWorks, with something that was original to US audiences.  Sequels were inevitable and The Ring Two followed in 2005 . . . though the less said about that one, the better!


Twelve years later, Samara returns in F. Javier Gutierrez's Rings, a sort of sequel/reboot trying to breathe new life into a somewhat forgotten franchise.  The biggest question going into a film about a cursed video tape in the year 2017 is "Does the target audience even know or remember what a VHS tape is?"  This, of course, is quickly addressed by Johnny Galecki's Gabriel, a pot-smoking, deep-thinking professor at the local college, when he laughably refers to a VCR at a flea market as "vintage".  And all the hipsters looked up from their lattes and squealed.

The VCR that Gabriel purchases comes from the collection of a kid who once again falls victim to Samara's curse in the film's opening sequence aboard a turbulent, late night flight.  For what it's worth, this could have been a very cool opportunity to do something unique and interesting -- what with all the TV screens available on an enclosed flight (the TV monitors on the seatbacks, peoples' portable DVD players, smart phone screens, etc.) -- and the film tries to play up this idea a bit, with Samara appearing even on the cockpit monitors!  Though things quickly fall apart when American Horror Story's Lizzie Brocheré shows up proclaiming "I've seen the tape too!" and all logic goes out the window and the story becomes muddled for the sake of the film's shock opening. 


Of course, Gabriel investigates his new/old VCR and finds a tape, labeled "Watch Me!" jammed inside.  In an age where VHS collecting has definitely become a thing (I'm a proud collector and VHS Misfit), there's an inherent thrill to scoring tapes from thrift and GoodWill stores.  Sometimes picking up tapes of the unlabeled variety with the hope of finding some bizarre, comic gold in the form of someone's personal home movies, so it's not unexpected that Gabriel would go down the rabbit hole with this cassette. 


In a small town not too far (?) away, young Holt Anthony [to quote Mad Dog Tannen in Back To The Future Part III, "What kinda stoopid name is that?"- ED.] lays in bed with his too skinny girlfriend Julia (played by Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz) on the eve of his leaving for his Freshman year of college.  Holt is played by Alex Roe, looking like a budget version of Dave Franco (himself a budget version of his older brother) with distractingly annoying Martin Scorsese-esque eyebrows [seriously...once you see them, you cannot unsee them...or the fact that they appear to be a uni-brow that was clumsily split not quite in the middle, with one straying a bit far over the borderline - ED.]  Roe plays Holt with all the "hero" factor of Rick in Friday the 13th Part III; the guy is as dumb as a box of rocks...but he's got six-pack abs for the girls in the audience.

Alex Roe, his eyebrows, and Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz

When their Skype session is interrupted by Holt's obnoxious college bros, Julia becomes concerned about her knight in skinny jeans.  He won't answer her texts or calls and then Julia receives a strange Skype call from a girl looking for Holt.  Since she apparently doesn't have a job or any responsibilities at home, she heads for Holt's college campus -- which must not be too far away -- and wanders across the grounds and into his dorm room [this college must have a helluva Campus Security team - ED.].  She finds his iPhone (which dies just after she reads some frantic texts from a girl named Skye), a strange key, and Holt's course list, with one particular class highlighted -- which is conveniently happening right at that exact moment....so she wanders over to whatever building that class is being held in and walks right into the middle of Professor Gabriel lecturing.


After Gabriel brushes off Julia's interrogation about why Holt isn't in class that day, she decides to follow the ironic weasel to an elevator, which he takes to the unauthorized 7th floor.  She soon stumbles into a workshop/party environment of what appears to be an entire class who have seen or are currently watching The Tape, with its imagery plastered all over the room via monitors and printouts of its various cryptic images.  It appears that, after watching The Tape himself, Gabriel did some research on Samara and the curse and has turned his findings into some sort of experiment about soul searching/soul jumping.  Whatever.  Anyway, for every one of his students that he selects for the experiment, he must eventually find them a "tail" who will then watch The Tape as well, thereby it's assumed, lifting the curse from the previous person . . . I think . . . are you following?  Since it's 2017, the experiment consists of making copies of the .MOV file of The Tape and passing it along to the next idiot succumbing to peer pressure. 

Those aren't eyebrows, they're forehead moustaches!

After actually seeing Samara come out of a flatscreen TV (yay modern times!) and claiming a hapless victim, Julia, of course, watches The Tape herself in a desperate attempt to save Holt.  Though, since she sees different imagery than what everyone else sees, this sets the rest of the plot in motion and calls for a roadtrip to mine the backstory of Samara and uncover the secrets of Rings. 


Rounding out the cast is Vincent D'Onofrio, who looks to be phoning it in so much that the moment he appeared on-screen, I exclaimed "Private Pyle!"  He does his best impression of James Earl Jones in The Sandlot here and chews up every scene he appears in; even a phoned-in D'Onofrio acts rings around his young co-stars! 

Apparently Gunnery Sgt. Hartman made good on his promise.

First things first:  like any Horror sequel, Rings falls victim to its need to explain Samara even more than what already was explained in the two previous films.  Hey screenwriters, sometimes it's okay NOT to have a reason "why" for some of these characters and films -- they're scarier that way.  The screenplay by David Loucka, Jacob Aaron Estes, and Akiva Goldsman piles on one ridiculous twist after another [a couple of which are fairly obvious right from the get-go when a particular character is introduced - ED.] in the hopes of wowing or "freaking out" its intended teenage audience.  In what was supposed to be a tense cat-and-mouse game in the final act, one is reminded of how it was done better in last year's Don't Breathe!  The film's poster even spells out one of the twists as well!  Forhelvede!


Somewhere around the midpoint, Gabriel discovers a pivotal plot point and immediately tries to call Holt to warn him and Julia, but the call goes straight to voicemail.  By the film's coda -- literally the very end of the picture -- Holt finally looks at his phone and sees that he has a voicemail.  What kind of teenage/college-age kid isn't looking at their phone constantly these days?  Granted, Holt is a pretty dumb buffoon for most of the film, but surely he'd glance at his phone at least once during the movie and see that he had a missed call and voicemail! 


It's unfortunate that principle photography on Rings started almost two years ago, as it aided in the screenwriters missing what could have been a very obvious angle for the story . . . all of these stupid Youtube challenges that The Kids do these days.  Instead of Gabriel's experiment and desperately trying to find "tails" for his students, the entire movie could have been over if they just uploaded the video to Youtube and labeled it as "The Samara Challenge"; dumbass teens would have been all over it and everyone would have been saved! 


Unfortunately, Rings is a bit of a mess that will likely make enough money at the box office to warrant yet another sequel -- theatrical or direct-to-DVD -- when it should hopefully be put out to pasture.  What started off as a great remake of a truly scary Japanese film has become so watered down as a franchise that it drowns in its own mediocrity.

No, please don't.  Save yourself.

A Worthy Sequel: Predator 2 (1990)

Stephen Hopkins' Predator 2 is, by my accounts, a criminally underrated sequel.  At this early stage in the franchise's development, I'm not sure if 20th Century Fox knew of its overall potential, though having a hot, young director like Hopkins (fresh off of A Nightmare on Elm Street 5) at the helm, suggests the similar formula that worked so well with Aliens a few years earlier.  Just by following up the juggernaut of success that the original Predator was, without its main star Arnold Schwarzenegger attached, this sequel was almost destined to be criticized right out of the gate.

Upon its release to home video (where I first saw it), I wasn't too impressed since Danny Glover was no Arnold, though I was still down since it was, ya know, The Predator and all.  Of course, the major eye-candy on display was the Easter egg (probably the first of its kind -- at least for me!) of the Xenomorph skull in the Predator's trophy case, teasing the Aliens Vs. Predator comic book mash-up a few years later! 

Now, as an adult, I'm able to fully appreciate Predator 2 for what it is:  a fun, roller-coaster ride of a monster movie that, at times, surpasses its predecessor!  Set in the not too distant future of 1997 (where fashion seems to hail from the Miami club scene and Gerardo was still popular on the radio), a crime-gripped Los Angeles is experiencing a record heat-wave which, of course, attracts everyone's favorite intergalactic big game hunter. A series of seemingly ritualistic grisly murders hints at an ongoing drug-fueled war between the Colombians and the Jamaicans.  Lt. Mike Harrigan (Danny Glover in his most Action Star role outside of the Lethal Weapon franchise) and his crew of Danny Archuleta (Ruben Blades) and Leona Cantrell (Maria Conchita Alonso), and fast-talking rookie Jerry Lambert (Bill Paxton, making him the first actor to be a part of the franchises for The Terminator, Aliens, and Predator!) is on the case, as more bodies start piling up.   

Let's take a look at some of the cool factors that help Predator 2 rise above mediocre sequel status and straight into the cult classic it should be seen as! 

1.) The level of violence on display works so much better in an Urban setting!

Right off the bat, Predator 2 begins with action as the LAPD is in the midst of a stand-off with the Colombian drug cartel!  There's lots of gunfire, explosions, and juicy squibs showing off overkill bullet hits.  At its core, this sequel is a police detective drama...but with the Predator involved.  Early on, the officers stumble upon the aftermath of the Predator wiping out The Colombians, leaving behind pools of blood on the floor and trails of viscera up the walls!  Literally, this film is completely gore soaked! 

 2.)  The Jamaican Voodoo Posse

Acting under the impression that the two feuding drug gangs are trying to wipe one another out, the story turns into just that:  the Jamaican Voodoo Posse, attacks Ramon Vega, head of the Colombian cartel!  The Jamaicans then proceed to ritualistically sacrifice ol' Ramon and cut out his heart!  This is also where the Predator gets his first big line of "Shit happens" before he wipes out every member of the Posse, while showing off some new toys of his own! 

Later on, we see more Posse members pick up Harrigan and bring him to a meeting with their leader, King Willie (played by Calvin Lockart, in an extended cameo).  Here the Posse ramp up Jamaican stereotypes as they arrive in an eccentric limousine, fish-bowling some enormous Wonder Joints that would make Dudley "Booger" Dawson proud! 

You want some ganja mon?

Furthermore, the scene where King Willie confronts the Predator a short time later is the definition of cool!  The Predator seemingly doesn't even break a sweat as he walks away with the Jamaican drug lord's still screaming severed head! 

3.) Gary Busey and Morton Downey, Jr (and, to a lesser extent, Robert Davi)

As a pioneer of "trash TV", Morton Downey, Jr. pretty much defined the darker side of syndicated television in the 1980s.  The chain-smoking Loudmouth was such a pop culture staple that, even at the age of 8 when Predator 2 came out, I knew who he was and what he was about!  Here, he's almost typecast as investigative reporter Tony Pope, being obnoxious and yelling in peoples' faces throughout his scenes.  

The brief appearance of resident "That Guy" character actor Robert Davi, as LAPD Chief Heinemann is also a thing of beauty.  Davi shows up long enough to be a prick and utter some savage insults at Harrigan and his team. 

Finally, there's Busey . . . this is almost immediately after his near fatal motorcycle accident and, in his role as mysterious Special Agent Peter Keyes, Busey chews scenery and delivers one-liners as though this were his final film!  "He's on safari...lions...tigers...bears...oh my!"

4.) The Predator's new weapons

Let's see, there's the razor wire net that makes short work of a Posse member early on . . . the retractable spear . . . the lobster claw-like spear tip that can fire from a wrist gauntlet . . . and, of course, that flying smart disc!  All of these new weapons expand on what made the original Predator so cool, yet aren't too intrusive or feel shoe-horned in to sell a toy or because the filmmakers thought they looked cool -- these DO look cool!

5.) Predator 2 expands on the Predator's mythology and gives a tease to a much bigger, connected world!

There's the aforementioned Xenomorph skull, suggesting the Alien and the Predator have crossed paths a few times (or at least will, fourteen years later on the big screen).  For my money, this Easter egg wins over the mash-up films we eventually got because of, not only the Wow! factor, but more so for the endless daydreams and What-If discussions it spawned among fans. 

On top of that, we get our first glimpses of more Predators and the sense that they are truly a tribe of hunters!  In the film's final moments, Harrigan is confronted by several Predators who seemingly have been standing aside, using their active camouflage, watching him battle one their own to the death.  I'm not sure who played these additional Predators, but they seem more in line with Kevin Peter Hall's body type and, for me, more realistic than the bulky, WWE-styled hunters we got in the AVP movies.  Again, this addition to the mythology is hinted at and teased in the film's final moments, leaving us asking questions and wanting more . . . which is a great thing!   THIS is how you set up backstory . . . today's screenwriters either don't know how to do this properly or they let studio suits interfere with demands for more and more details about where our characters come from.  

6.) The subway massacre!

Let's be honest:  when watching a movie like Predator or Predator 2, we want to see carnage and bloodshed right?  When Leona and Jerry decide to take the subway to meet up with Mike, they soon find themselves in the middle of a mugging gone bad as commuters draw their guns....and turn public transit into a shooting gallery for the Predator while remaining in his active camouflage appearance!  This sequence had to be one of the most complex for the production since it's in tight quarters and with limited lighting (love that strobe light effect though!).

Every single time I watch Predator 2, I hope that some how, some way Jerry Lambert will survive!  To me, that's a sure sign of a great film where, no matter how many times you've seen it, you always hope for a different outcome for favorite characters!

There are people getting shot, stabbed, thrown, smashed through windows, and just straight up hacked to pieces!  The strobe light effect throughout only adds to the suspense and ramps up the scare factor as the audience isn't completely sure of what's going on or who is still alive!  

Check out that gang member with the bloodied face and neck!!

7.) The one-liners

Since I was 8yrs old when I first saw Predator 2, it's pretty safe to say that the film contributed to a very outlandish vocabulary for me in the 1st and 2nd Grades!  In fact, given my age, I didn't even know what half of the dialogue meant; I just thought it was some funny shit!  Allow me to paint you some examples....


El Scorpio [after sniffing a cocaine mountain that would make Scarface blush] "Come and get it!  El Scorpio is ready!"

Gold Tooth:  "King Willie says, not only do I have to kill you, but I have to take your soul.  Voodoo magic.  Fucking voodoo magic, man!  But you know what?  I tell you what I believe:  shit happens!"

Old Woman In Apartment [after Mike declares he's a cop]  "I don't think he gives a shit."

King Willie:  "This is dread man.  Truly dread."

Mike Harrigan [descending down a pipe on the side of a building] "Maybe I'll get lucky and fall."

Leona Cantrell:   "I have heard about you."
Jerry Lambert: "Yeah?"
Leona Cantrell: "Yeah. Like your last partner got shot."
Jerry Lambert: "What?"
Leona Cantrell: "Well..."
Leona Cantrell: [grabs Jerry's balls] "Try that cowboy shit with me, fucker, and you can kiss these goodbye."

Jerry Lambert: "Okay everybody, just take a deep breath. Loosen your sphincters. We don't need any rush hour Rambos here."


There are so many other quotable lines here that I could easily keep going....but you get the idea!

8.) The look of the Predator itself!

Once again, Stan Winston and his crew designed the titular creature and, despite some cosmetic changes to the overall look -- again hinting at different tribes, ranks, clans etc. among the Predator species -- this is one badass movie monster.  Here, the Predator has more of a lobster/crustacean appearance to go with his crab-like mandibles and his head shape seems a bit bigger as well.  Again, seeing this as a kid, the differences never really stood out as much as they do these days and, for that, I'm really grateful on the redesign.  Winston's minor changes to look of the Predator weren't as distracting or jarring as, say, the constant revisions made to the Xenomorph starting with Aliens and continuing all the way through the AVP movies!

Look, Predator 2 may not be the macho movie that its predecessor was, but damn, if it doesn't strike a different chord!  For me, the original film appealed to that basic instinct of "boys playing war", as it's impossible to argue with the cool factor of the film's first half.  The second half being just a cool monster movie with Schwarzenegger kicking ass, ya know?  Predator 2 has a bit of a B-movie/almost Grindhouse vibe to it at times, along with its straight ahead Action/Sci-Fi premise and, for me, that makes it stand out as a great sequel worthy of praise!  

With screenwriter of the original Predator, Shane Black, and Fred Dekker, creator of The Monster Squad/Night of the Creeps collaborating on a super secret direct sequel -- aptly titled The Predator, due in 2018 -- hopefully fans will take a moment and look back fondly at Predator 2.

House II: The Second Story (1987)

To be fair, House II isn't a very good film -- but it can certainly be an enjoyable film...if you can watch it without your "All my Horror must be deadly serious and loaded with gore" goggles.  When it was released in 1987, it was pretty much an instant childhood favorite of mine, though over the years, I sort of bought into its bad rep and dismissed it as mere cinema garbage.  Last night, Mrs. Constriction and I sat down to give it another spin and see how well it holds up.

And it better not leak...or else!

During a short, 1961-set prologue, we're introduced to a new titular house; Los Angeles' castle-like Stimson House and it's quickly apparent that this is a sequel in name/idea only.  Arye Gross (then of Just One Of The Guys fame, but later of TV's Ellen) stars as Jesse, who is moving into the house once owned by the birth parents he never knew.  Along with him is his record company shrew girlfriend, Kate, (annoyingly played by Friday the 13th Part VII's Lar Park Lincoln).  Jesse instantly begins digging through the family library and soon discovers the story of a strange Mayan crystal skull, once searched out by his Great Great Grandfather (whom he was named after).  Soon, Jesse's best friend Charlie (played with full-on 80s goofball buddy charm by Fright Night's Jonathan Stark and his Madonna wannabe girlfriend Lana (a pre-Problem Child and Robin Hood:  Men In Tights Amy Yasbeck) show up, unannounced, to hang out for a few days. 

Gross, as the film's hero Jesse

Lar Park Lincoln:  80s fashion icon!

This ain't Indiana Jones' crystal skull...

From there, in search of the crystal skull, Jesse and Charlie dig up the grave of the Great Great Grandfather (aka:  Gramps) and open up a Pandora's Box of strange events including:  an impressive mummified Royal Dano, a room in the house which opens to a prehistoric jungle, a crazed cro-mag throwback, Jim Henson-like puppets of a baby pterodactyl and a cute-as-a-button "caterpuppy", virgin-sacrificing Mayans, and of course, the film's main villain Slim Reeser, a sort of zombified Travis Tritt gunslinger...with the voice of Inspector Gadget's Dr. Claw (yes, Frank Welker supplies the voice here).


Jonathan Stark shows some great comedic timing in this film.

Rambo be damned.

Also along for the ride are Bill Maher and Cheers' John Ratzenberger.  Maher, with his face oozing yuppie smugness, is as punchable as he ever was as Kate's record executive boss.  Every time he's onscreen, there is a demand for it to be either kicked or punched!  In one of the film's most bizarre sequences, Ratzenberger shows up unannounced as Bill, The Electrician, joining Jesse and Charlie for an Indiana Jones style adventure where they battle Mayan worshippers and rescue a damsel in distress.  While clearly aping parts of Indiana Jones And The Temple of Doom, the sequence comes off rather cheap-looking and its action is very wooden . . . but it's still fun because of Ratzenberger's presence! 

Just one, solid punch to that nose...please!

Everyone knows his name here because it's on his shirt.

For first-time director, Ethan Wiley, the action is pretty smooth, if not a bit stiff.  It's apparent that producer Sean S. Cunningham was sort of steering the train as the film looks and feels very much like its 1986 predecessor (some of the hallways and bedroom sets even appear to be re-dressings from the previous film).  Some of Wiley's previous credits were as creature techs and effects crew on Return of the Jedi and Gremlins, which explains the film's focus on cute, cuddly puppet creatures like the caterpuppy. 

Everyone needs this guy for Christmas!



A baby pterodactyl at a dinner table...wearing a bib.

Since this was the mid-to-late 80s, there's a strong emphasis on Chris Walas' effects crew trying to impress the audience with various makeups, puppets, and stop-motion animation -- with little to no blood (the only drops of which occur from gunshot wounds in the prologue and the final reel).  Think of House II as Labyrinth or The Dark Crystal on a much smaller budget and not so much as a "Horror" film and it's actually not too bad.  Almost 30 years later, the effects still hold up -- though puppeteer arms can be seen in a few shots -- and still invoke the emotions they intended.  The zombie makeups for Gramps and Slim are still impressive -- some may remember seeing Slim from the cover of Fangoria #64.

Gramps wants more beer, dammit!

Alright, who ordered the gunslinger entree?

In the end, the House series as a whole is a bit confusing and disjointed -- don't even get me started on the whole Horror Show/House III and then bringing William Katt back for House IV mess -- so it's not surprising that things sort of went of the rails with the first sequel.  Perhaps Fred Dekker and Sean Cunningham planned to have each film be different in the vein of an anthology?  After watching House II last night, we laughed more than I thought we would and, overall, just had fun with it. 

Jaws 2 (1978)

Today happens to see the original Jaws celebrating the 41st anniversary of its release and, thereby you know, laying out the blueprint for the modern blockbuster.  It really is incredible film that broke box office records, frightened audiences, and generated such a buzz that lines for subsequent showings stretched around city blocks and through parking lots!  Perhaps, even more important to modern movie-going, Jaws also ushered in the idea of a successful sequel to continue such astronomical profits; no 1978's Jaws 2 obviously isn't the very first sequel ever (but it is the first to simply use the number 2 instead of a roman numeral), but it definitely didn't make any qualms about wanting to repeat its predecessor's success.

Producers David Brown and Richard Zanuck saw the potential to strike while the iron was still steaming on Jaws and very early on had their hearts set on a sequel.  Very early on, there was talk of mining Quint's story of the sinking USS Indianapolis and going for a sort of prequel (which, for my money, would still be a viable and entertaining story.  Get on it Universal! - Ed).  When that idea was rejected though, John D. Hancock was brought in as director and, working from a script by his wife Dorothy Tristan, started fleshing out a very different Jaws 2, one where Amity had become a ghost town that had been financially crippled by the events of the first film.  There was also an expansion of a subplot from one of Peter Benchley's original novel, in which organized crime and unpaid debts weaved themselves through Amity officials.  Of course, all this was happening while another shark terrorized the town!

What we ended up with for Jaws 2, instead, is what I like to call "a Slasher movie with a Great White Shark".  Co-written by Carl Gottlieb and Howard Sackler, Jaws 2 focuses on the now-teenaged Mike Brody and his group of friends as they go cruising in their sailboats  on the open ocean -- it's a not subtle variation on teenagers showing off their tricked out hotrods along the Sunset Strip.  This, of course, happens after two divers go missing and their undeveloped camera roll points to another large Carcharodon Carcharias.  In an interesting bit of continuity, the two divers are thrill-seekers who are checking out the sunken wreckage of the Orca, trying to secure bragging rights by taking photos where the original film ended. 

Just some kids, havin' some fun.

 Naturally, only Chief Brody seems to believe that another shark is chumming up Amity's waters -- despite a pile of evidence -- and, so it's up to him to stop it.   Mix in the fact that Mike and his friends are now the target of the Great White and, for Chief Brody, this time it's getting personal!

I'm only smiling because money!

Fresh off a series of episodes from TV's Baretta, Bug director Jeannot Szwarc treats the material of Jaws 2 the way anyone attempting to follow-up a massive success should:  realize that lightning probably isn't going to strike twice, but give it your all, and have fun with it!  Under this mindset, Szwarc crafts some great set pieces that see the shark attack a water-skier and cause a boat to explode in a fireball (earning a bitching burn scare on its face!) and even one where the shark has helicopter à la carte!  Still though, if Spielberg's handling of the first film was the equivalent to 5.1 sound, Szwarc delivers a stereophonic film for the sequel. 

Once again as Chief Martin Brody, Roy Scheider leads a returning roster of actors such as Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton, Joseph Moscalo, and Jeffrey Kramer.  It's worth noting that, despite not really wanting to be there (he was notoriously difficult on-set and his clashes with Szwarc were legendary), Scheider does give the role his all, proving himself invaluable to the franchise (as the next two sequels would find out the hard way). 

Among the cast of "kids", almost every archetype that would later be explored/copied in the Slasher films of the 80s is present:  the hunky hero in Mike (played by Mark Gruner), the Constantly Screaming/Crying Girl, the Spoiled Rich Kid Whose Dad Is Important, the Jock Best Friend, and even the Lovable Nerd (played by Christine's Keith Gordon).  Though they may seem a bit stereotypical, the young actors give enough to their performances to make you root for them and care as they're stalked by the shark -- except for Donna Wilkes' Jackie, who sobs and screams her way through the 2nd half of the film, causing many a fan to beg the shark to eat her!

Dear God, make her stop.  Just.  Stop.  Already.

Keith Gordon is great in anything.

Also returning is John Williams with a fine follow-up to his Academy Award-winning score the first time around.  Here, he contributes a spirited score that many fans would argue comes in just below the original! 

Of course, the main star of the film is the shark itself; designed by Special mechanical effects supervisor Robert Mattey and Roy Arbogast, Bruce 2 featured a brand new head design and overall improved mechanics.  Throw in that killer burn scar on the right side of its face, and Jaws 2 has one memorable movie monster!

Bruce 2 cut himself shaving.

Apparently, Bruce 2 ate some hydraulics!

At the time of its release Jaws 2 was Universal's most expensive film to date, a gamble which paid off handsomely though as it remained in the top 10 grossing films for some time!  For a sequel, its initial box office was only topped a year later by Rocky II!

When viewed along side the classic original, Jaws 2 is certainly an inferior film, however it makes the most of what it has going for it -- that being an incredibly large shadow -- and delivers a fun, energetic follow-up.  As it stands it is, hands down, the best of the three sequels as well, given that there seemed to be a desire for legitimacy and story, rather than just box office receipts. 

One final cool piece about Jaws 2 is its famous tagline of "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water..."; parodied to death in the ensuing years, this is one of the best and coolest horror taglines ever!  It's also worth noting that, with Jaws 2, the franchise continued the tradition of having incredible artwork for its posters (despite the quality of the films themselves).  Even though I've yet to have a Jaws poster in my own collection (likely a reprint since originals are extremely expensive), I do have US one-sheets for Jaws 2 and Jaws 3-D, as well a Danish version of Jaws 2!