In 1997, I obtained a very crucial book for my collection called Clive Barker's A-Z of Horror. Compiled by Stephen Jones as a companion piece to a BBC-TV series, the book is an alphabetical treasure trove of information for Horror fans young and old. Of course, I immediately skipped right to the "Z" section to see what was said about zombie movies and whether or not George Romero was represented with gusto (he is -- I recall photos of both Night of the Living Dead and Day of the Dead). However, there were also two hidden gems introduced to me via that chapter: Ken Wiederhorn's 1977 underwater Nazi zombie classic Shock Waves and American International's Sugar Hill.
Although it took me quite a few years (nearly 10 at least, if I remember correctly) to finally see Sugar Hill in all its Blaxploitation Horror hybrid glory -- the film is currently available on blu-ray from Kino/Lorber and on MOD DVD-R from MGM -- it definitely didn't disappoint from those early images in Barker's book!
Sugar Hill tells the story of Diana "Sugar" Hill who, mourning the murder of her club-owner boyfriend, uses Voodoo and zombies to exact her revenge on those responsible. Payback unfolds almost in the vein of something like Kill Bill as Sugar and her "zombie hit men" pick off the bad guys one by one until their boss, Morgan, gets his own comeuppance. All the while, one of Sugar's ex-flames, a detective, is hot on the trail of the mysterious voodoo killings, with all signs pointing to her.
Like all of AIP's output in the early 1970s, Sugar Hill is truly a product of its time; there's minimal production values, creepy (if not "cheesy") make-up effects, casual racism, dated costumes and hairstyles, topped off with a funky soundtrack...in short, it's just so cool! While it may not be quite on par with say, Blacula (or its sequel) or Foxy Brown, it's definitely head and shoulders above Blackenstein and Penitentiary . . . it hovers in its own sort of space which, ultimately, makes it stand out and shine.
Marki Bey (of Starsky & Hutch fame) stars as Sugar and she's great throughout; she goes from mournful lover to cool and collected business woman to puppet master dishing out punishment with ease. One of the cooler aspects of Bey's performance is whenever she's dealing with her zombies or setting up a trap for the bad guys, her long, straight hair is replaced by a crucial Afro hairstyle. Early scenes where Sugar contacts Voodoo priestess Mama Maitresse (Zara Cully from The Jeffersons) and conjures up ruler of the dead Baron Samedi (played by The Dukes of Hazzard's Don Pedro Colley) show Bey's dramatic range and she yearns for nothing but violent revenge.
Marki Bey owns the titular role of Sugar Hill
Don Pedro Colly as Baron Samedi
As Sugar's nemesis Morgan, Count Yorga himself, Robert Quarry is as excellent as he ever was in an AIP film. Quarry plays Morgan like a typical gangster bad guy seen on countless TV shows in the 70s and 80s; he knows what he wants and will stop at nothing to get it, all the while bossing around his henchmen and dumb as bricks trophy girlfriend. While it's never really made clear exactly why Morgan wants the Club Haiti (this is why Sugar's boyfriend, Langston, is murdered), Quarry still plays him straight. Since the film is set in Louisiana, Quarry affects Morgan with a bit of a Southern twang that makes him somewhat charming.
Robert Quarry, as Morgan, tries to intimidate "Sugar".
Valentine, Sugar's former beau turned police detective, is played by Scream Blacula, Scream's Richard Lawson (in one of his early roles). As the bodies start piling up, Valentine digs deeper and deeper to uncover the truth behind all the voodoo murders. Lawson plays Valentine as a man with a job to do, but also with the hope of rekindling with Sugar, as he dishes "friendly" advice/banter with her about the murders and seems to implicate her role in them.
Richard Lawson as Valentine
At the helm as director is Paul Maslansky (notable producer of the Police Academy franchise), who does a serviceable job here in is sole Director credit. One of the film's weaknesses is that the revenge scenes feel a little out of place with the rest of the film; again, the change in Sugar's hairstyle for these sequences is puzzling, too. Each murder set-up feels like a vignette of sorts with Baron Samedi appearing in a sort of disguise and Sugar revealing herself in some ghoulish manner that would be right at home in an AIP-era Vincent Price picture. There's also no real ending to the film as, once all of the bad guys are dead, Baron Samedi takes his part of the brokered deal and Sugar is left all by herself in the swamp . . . with only the slightest indication that she and Valentine might get back together. There's no real wrap-up with the Club Haiti either or any resolution to the murders on the police side.
Zara Cully as Mama Matriesse
The real reason to check out this movie though is, of course, the zombies themselves. They look cool all covered in cobwebs and white/gray blue paint that accentuates their muscular structure. The only odd thing is their silver, ping pong ball eyes . . . hey, two out of three ain't bad, right? Since these aren't the Romero type of zombie, these hit men uses tools and don't eat their victims -- but they do quite a few numbers on Morgan's hapless henchmen including decapitation, stabbing, strangling, and window-smashing! Granted, on blu-ray and DVD, I'm sure the cleaned up picture quality probably isn't doing the zombie special make-up effects any favors, but this is an easy pothole to overlook. There are also some cool makeups on the dead bad guys when they show up in the last real as re-animated corpses themselves!
They're coming to get you, Morgan!
Morgan's dead henchmen return!
In the end though, Sugar Hill is an enjoyable -- if not underrated -- entry in the early 1970s Blaxploitation subgenre. It's got everything where it counts and deserves to be seen by more people!
Hey folks, this one comes as a major blow for Horror fans as Pittsburgh Chiller Theater host and Night of the Living Dead actor, Bill "Chilly Billy" Cardille passed away today. Cardille's daughter Lori reported his passing on Facebook.
Recently, fans from all over the world sent letters and cards to Cardille and his family, showing him just how many lives he touched in his nearly 60yr career.
The crew here at Constriction Pictures sends our deepest sympathies to the Cardille family.
If you're a Horror movie fan, chances are that you have your list of favorite soundtracks and scores and, no doubt, there's one man who you own multiple works from...
When it was first announced that legendary filmmaker John Carpenter would be playing a show somewhere Europe, performing some of his classic film themes and selected tracks from his twin Lost Themes records, I never dreamt that I'd be able to see it myself. However, that all changed when the John Carpenter Retrospective tour made a stop at Chicago's Thalia Hall this past Saturday night (the US leg of the tour wrapped up last night in Milwaukee, with a European run starting in August).
Having missed similar performances by Goblin (still kicking myself for missing their live score of Suspiria at The Metro), I wasn't quite sure what to expect going into this show. If Horror had the equivalent to Thrash Metal's "Big Four", it would arguably consist of George Romero, the late Wes Craven, David Cronenberg, and of course, John Carpenter; I've met or seen all of those guys in a convention setting, but always missed out on Carpenter, so this was definitely surreal proposal to say the least.
Had this been done back in the late 70s or early 80s, the John Carpenter Retrospective would likely have been one of those "you had to have been there" moments for Horror fans; there likely would've only been a few photographs from such an event, with only those who were there passing down stories of it to the next generations.
With a stark stage production consisting of a four-paneled movie screen, some amazing lighting, and minimal special effects (that dry ice fog during the main title from The Fog though!), Carpenter and his band took the stage promptly at 9pm to deliver over an hour's worth of music and visuals that rocked those in attendance. Starting with the "Main Title" from Escape From New York, the evening started on a high note which only increased as the show went on; the film montages started brilliantly with Escape From New York's 3D map of Manhattan island before giving way to the bevy of classic film clips as the track went on. The crowd ate it up as the opening one-two punch continued with the "Main Title" to Assault on Precinct 13!
The set continued with Carpenter -- clad all in black, looking like Lee Van Cleef in Escape no doubt! -- remaining center stage at his synth rig, only pausing to read from a scripted banter as he introduced each track. Along with the ten film themes performed, the band also threw in several cuts from the Lost Themes records, which fit in perfectly amongst their motion picture brethren.
It's difficult to single out any one particular film theme as "the best of the night", but the "Main Title" from The Fog stepped up the game big time, as the combination of the film's visuals playing on-screen and the dry ice fog creeping across the stage made for one hell of an all senses experience!
Another standout was "Coming To L.A" from They Live, which saw the band donning familiar black sunglasses as the film's large, subliminal messages flashed across the screens, garnering the night's biggest cheers thus far!
The highlights just kept on coming with an Ennio Morricone cover of "Main Theme - Desolation" from The Thing -- wherein I found myself STILL marveling at Rob Bottin's phenomenal practical special effects -- and "Pork Chop Express" from Big Trouble In Little China, which Carpenter introduced citing that, out of the five projects with Kurt Russell, was their favorite.
Being that the crowd was made up of mostly Horror fans -- everyone sporting t-shirts of their favorite Carpenter classic -- it was expected that the night's biggest reaction would go to only one theme . . .
The night's main set ended perfectly with the title track from In The Mouth of Madness, again accompanied by intense visuals from Carpenter's 1994 shocker. There was a brief break before the band returned for an encore consisting of "Darkness Begins" from Prince of Darkness and two more Lost Themes cuts. As the second installment to his "Apocalypse Trilogy", seeing Prince of Darkness in a live setting just reaffirmed that film's underrated power and overwhelming sense of dread.
The night ended with Carpenter wishing everyone a safe drive home and an ominous warning about an evil '58 Plymouth Fury named Christine before launching into "Christine Attacks (Plymouth Fury)" from 1983's Stephen King classic!
Overall, the show was incredible; the music was timeless, the visuals and presentation were nothing short of spectacular, and the band was on fire and an well-oiled machine (the Maestro himself throwing some awesome dance moves throughout, too)! There was quite a selection of merch available at the show as well; limited edition vinyl, numerous t-shirts, tour posters, and even a They Live tote bag (complete with CONSUME screened across the back)! Post-show, Carpenter eventually came out to his tour bus and happily greeted the handful of us waiting to meet him (1 item signed or 1 photo op).
One more bonus to the night's festivities? There were a handful of cameras on-hand filming the show and interviewing several fans for, what will hopefully be, an eventual DVD/bluray of the show!
Blaxploitation films have been a favorite of mine since at least the 7th Grade when I first saw Shaft and bought a 45" of the theme (I used to listen to it on my Walkman while I walked to school then to get pumped up for the day) and also after I caught Scream Blacula, Scream on cable during a sick day. My eyes were then open to a new sub-genre that I've spent the last 20+ years appreciating!
Lately, I've been discovering some gems of the genre that I maybe hadn't heard of outside of the odd trailer popping up on a compilation disc; titles like Cotton Comes To Harlem, Cool Breeze, Trouble Man, Hit-Man, Black Fist, and of course Gordon's War.
"Say, aren't the dude from The Terminator?"
Gordon's War is a revenge film with an anti-drug message, so it was a no-brainer for me to check out! The late, great Paul Winfield (Lt. Traxler in The Terminator) stars as Captain Gordon Hudson who, upon returning from Vietnam, learns that his wife became a junkie and died while he was away. Talk about a heavy homecoming, right? He vows to rid the streets of pimps and drug pushers and, along with three of his old 'Nam buddies, Gordon sets up recon on several of Harlem's key scumbags. Gordon's team screws over/robs/shuts down/beats down a pimp called Big Pink, another dude called Luther The Pimp, and drug kingpin "Spanish" Harry Martinez (played by genre vet Gilbert Lewis -- you might know him as Detective Frank Linto in 1992's Candyman).
"We're loaded for bear...if bear was a pimp and a pusher man."
It takes a while, but soon "Spanish" Harry and his men are onto Gordon's team; there's a great, tense sequence where the crew is separated while waiting for "Spanish" Harry...only he's got the upper hand on them and it's obvious that the hardline crew is in trouble! A lot of cross-cutting and near montage work makes this a really effective sequence actually!
The film is directed by the late, great Ossie Davis (long before TV's Evening Shade and Grumpy Old Men, Davis was a prolific civil rights activist, along with his late wife Rubie Dee; he directed several, early Blaxploitation pictures, including one of the genre's first, 1970's Cotton Comes To Harlem). Davis shows a great knowledge for film-making here, keeping the story moving and the action/drama flowing. One cool bit that I picked up on was how much Mario Van Peeples' New Jack City paid homage to this film -- this has to be one of the first anti-drug films to show near naked people cutting/bagging heroin under a black light.
Soundtrack-wise, I wouldn't say the music was as memorable as most other Blaxploitation films, but I was still bobbing my head and shaking my hips while laying in bed watching.
And, hey, I'm all for a movie where drug dealers are hunted and killed . . . though this one is not as on the nose about it or quite as violent as 1973's Coffy. Instead of merely killing the pushers and pimps, Gordon and his crew hunt them and keep tabs on them via some innovative (for the time) methods before ripping them off of their product and their money.
Luther the Pimp ain't so bad with a switchblade in his face!
Par for the course with the genre, Gordon's War has some scenes of brutal violence: a pimp has his legs hobbled, a local scumbag is forced to shoot his own product into his veins (much like that great opening scene in Coffy!), a henchman gets his face burnt off via an ingenious lighter and underarm deodorant spray combo, and there are several bloody shotgun blasts to the chest. While it's not the most violent for the genre, it still delivers!
Take that sucka!
Speaking of Gordon's crew, they're a lot like The A-Team or Tom Cruise's Mission: Impossible teams; each guy brings his own flare and strengths to the group. One cool scene involves one of the guys undercover as a shoe shiner on the streets, accosting a fly dope-pusher; he insists on shining the dude's platform leather boots that only a member of KISS would wear today....of course, he coats the boats with a UV paint so that they can track him at night with a set of UV binoculars!
I'd probably try and rock these boots.
There are also some slight echoes of this film in 1977's Rolling Thunder, where William Devane stars as a Vietnam vet returning home, only to have his reward ripped off from him as he is forced to watch his wife and child get murdered....and he loses his right hand in the garbage disposal. Like, Gordon's War, Devane vows revenge and recruits his old Army buddy (Tommy Lee Jones) for recon and blood-spattered revenge!
In the end, it was another fun Blaxploitation film that I hadn't seen before. I'm actually surprised that it hasn't been remade today....
PS: Also look for a "blink and you missed it" cameo from Grace Jones!
Today happens to see the original Jaws celebrating the 41st anniversary of its release and, thereby you know, laying out the blueprint for the modern blockbuster. It really is incredible film that broke box office records, frightened audiences, and generated such a buzz that lines for subsequent showings stretched around city blocks and through parking lots! Perhaps, even more important to modern movie-going, Jaws also ushered in the idea of a successful sequel to continue such astronomical profits; no 1978's Jaws 2 obviously isn't the very first sequel ever (but it is the first to simply use the number 2 instead of a roman numeral), but it definitely didn't make any qualms about wanting to repeat its predecessor's success. Producers David Brown and Richard Zanuck saw the potential to strike while the iron was still steaming on Jaws and very early on had their hearts set on a sequel. Very early on, there was talk of mining Quint's story of the sinking USS Indianapolis and going for a sort of prequel (which, for my money, would still be a viable and entertaining story. Get on it Universal! - Ed). When that idea was rejected though, John D. Hancock was brought in as director and, working from a script by his wife Dorothy Tristan, started fleshing out a very different Jaws 2, one where Amity had become a ghost town that had been financially crippled by the events of the first film. There was also an expansion of a subplot from one of Peter Benchley's original novel, in which organized crime and unpaid debts weaved themselves through Amity officials. Of course, all this was happening while another shark terrorized the town! What we ended up with for Jaws 2, instead, is what I like to call "a Slasher movie with a Great White Shark". Co-written by Carl Gottlieb and Howard Sackler, Jaws 2 focuses on the now-teenaged Mike Brody and his group of friends as they go cruising in their sailboats on the open ocean -- it's a not subtle variation on teenagers showing off their tricked out hotrods along the Sunset Strip. This, of course, happens after two divers go missing and their undeveloped camera roll points to another large Carcharodon Carcharias. In an interesting bit of continuity, the two divers are thrill-seekers who are checking out the sunken wreckage of the Orca, trying to secure bragging rights by taking photos where the original film ended.
Just some kids, havin' some fun.
Naturally, only Chief Brody seems to believe that another shark is chumming up Amity's waters -- despite a pile of evidence -- and, so it's up to him to stop it. Mix in the fact that Mike and his friends are now the target of the Great White and, for Chief Brody, this time it's getting personal!
I'm only smiling because money!
Fresh off a series of episodes from TV's Baretta, Bug director Jeannot Szwarc treats the material of Jaws 2 the way anyone attempting to follow-up a massive success should: realize that lightning probably isn't going to strike twice, but give it your all, and have fun with it! Under this mindset, Szwarc crafts some great set pieces that see the shark attack a water-skier and cause a boat to explode in a fireball (earning a bitching burn scare on its face!) and even one where the shark has helicopterà la carte! Still though, if Spielberg's handling of the first film was the equivalent to 5.1 sound, Szwarc delivers a stereophonic film for the sequel.
Once again as Chief Martin Brody, Roy Scheider leads a returning roster of actors such as Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton, Joseph Moscalo, and Jeffrey Kramer. It's worth noting that, despite not really wanting to be there (he was notoriously difficult on-set and his clashes with Szwarc were legendary), Scheider does give the role his all, proving himself invaluable to the franchise (as the next two sequels would find out the hard way). Among the cast of "kids", almost every archetype that would later be explored/copied in the Slasher films of the 80s is present: the hunky hero in Mike (played by Mark Gruner), the Constantly Screaming/Crying Girl, the Spoiled Rich Kid Whose Dad Is Important, the Jock Best Friend, and even the Lovable Nerd (played by Christine's Keith Gordon). Though they may seem a bit stereotypical, the young actors give enough to their performances to make you root for them and care as they're stalked by the shark -- except for Donna Wilkes' Jackie, who sobs and screams her way through the 2nd half of the film, causing many a fan to beg the shark to eat her!
Dear God, make her stop. Just. Stop. Already.
Keith Gordon is great in anything.
Also returning is John Williams with a fine follow-up to his Academy Award-winning score the first time around. Here, he contributes a spirited score that many fans would argue comes in just below the original!
Of course, the main star of the film is the shark itself; designed by Special mechanical effects supervisor Robert Mattey and Roy Arbogast, Bruce 2 featured a brand new head design and overall improved mechanics. Throw in that killer burn scar on the right side of its face, and Jaws 2 has one memorable movie monster!
Bruce 2 cut himself shaving.
Apparently, Bruce 2 ate some hydraulics!
At the time of its release Jaws 2 was Universal's most expensive film to date, a gamble which paid off handsomely though as it remained in the top 10 grossing films for some time! For a sequel, its initial box office was only topped a year later by Rocky II! When viewed along side the classic original, Jaws 2 is certainly an inferior film, however it makes the most of what it has going for it -- that being an incredibly large shadow -- and delivers a fun, energetic follow-up. As it stands it is, hands down, the best of the three sequels as well, given that there seemed to be a desire for legitimacy and story, rather than just box office receipts. One final cool piece about Jaws 2 is its famous tagline of "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water..."; parodied to death in the ensuing years, this is one of the best and coolest horror taglines ever! It's also worth noting that, with Jaws 2, the franchise continued the tradition of having incredible artwork for its posters (despite the quality of the films themselves). Even though I've yet to have a Jaws poster in my own collection (likely a reprint since originals are extremely expensive), I do have US one-sheets for Jaws 2 and Jaws 3-D, as well a Danish version of Jaws 2!
All genre fans are familiar with the all-too brief 3D resurgence in the early 80s with the top three Part 3 titles being released in blue and red glory -- 1982's Friday the 13th Part 3, 1983's Amityville 3D, and of course, Jaws 3-D following that same year. The gamble on the gimmick paid off in spades for Friday (scaring up $36.7 million on a $2.3 million budget) and Jaws (pulling $88.5 million from its $20.5 million budget), with audiences mostly skipping Amityville. Shortly after this mini-wave though, the fad died out once again. But, for those of us who were lucky enough to catch these movies during their theatrical runs (or at least see them on home video in the format), they sure do make for some pretty fun times! Jaws 3-D, while entertaining as all hell, is a pretty dumb movie. Much like its three-dimensional brothers in screams, most of its running time is focused on the WOW factor of "Hey! Look! This severed arm is popping right of the screen at you!" The story focuses on a now adult Mike Brody (played by a young Dennis Quaid) who works as an engineer at SeaWorld Orlando, far from the beaches of Amity Island and his budding relationship with the park's lead marine biologist Kay (played by Bess Armstrong). Naturally, a Great White shark somehow gets into the park and begins making waves! Standing in for the role of Mayor In Denial, Louis Gossett Jr is on hand as Calvin Bouchard, the business-minded park manager intent of generating lots of money no matter what. As the Great White chews on their co-workers and guests alike, Mike and Kay soon realize they have a bigger problem on their hands: the shark's 35-foot mother!
You may now put on your 3D glasses!
In the shadow of its original blockbuster daddy, Jaws 3-D doesn't amount to much more than the bloated, stinking corpse of a Tiger Shark; but when viewed as just a fun, ridiculous popcorn movie on a Friday or Saturday night, it's one to remember! Lou Gossett chews scenery and dialogue almost as quickly as the sharks in this film, as he has so many quotable nuggets of dialogue like "No grenades". Quaid is fine as the first adult version of the Brody kids we all loved in the two previous films (little brother Sean shows up as well, played by John Putch). Bess Armstrong seems to anchor the seriousness of the plot though, as Kay is essentially the Hooper character this time around; aside from a passing reference to how "those sharks are killers" from Mike, Quaid plays things pretty blue-collar and almost as if he can't believe what's actually happening. Lea Thompson, in her first on-screen role, also shows up as a water-skier performer and potential love interest for Sean!
Also along for the hunt -- because every good monster movie needs a hunter -- is the late Simon MacCorkindale as Philip FitzRoyce, who is basically the bastard son of Jacques Cousteau and Don King with a little bit of Quint mixed in for good measure. MacCorkindale plays up the cheap cologne slime factor of his character, which combined with his British flare, makes him rather enjoyable and worthy of rooting for in the end. For the kids, there are also two cute dolphins -- Cindy and Sandy -- who pretty much either get in the way (like Jones the cat in Alien or Gordon the dog in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter) or save the day. It's worth noting that Sandy is played by a male dolphin named Capricorn; he currently lives in Discovery Cove (owned by SeaWorld in Orlando) and, at 50yrs old, still loves interacting with guests daily! Pretty cool, eh? As a film, things are pretty uneven from the start. The screenplay by Carl Gottlieb and Richard Matheson (!) is pure B-movie greatness on par with the tongue in cheek humor of John Sayles -- though it's a shame that no one else got the memo that the material should be treated as such! Having served as Production Designer and Second Unit Director on the first two films, Joe Alves is clearly in over his head, but manages a serviceable job...though this would be the one and only film he'd helm. If anything, the movie's faults lie in its thralldom to the 3D film making process and its limitations. Set pieces that maybe could have been incredible or terrifying in another director's hands are instead set-up to only service and show-off three-dimensional special effects. Some of the obvious standouts of Jaws 3-D are: 1.) An intense scene where the shark attacks a group of water-skiers in broad daylight -- in front of hundreds of SeaWorld guests. Here, Mike frantically hijacks a golf cart (spilling popcorn all over the ground -- for shame!) before stealing an MC's microphone to alert everyone to get out of the water! Someone needs to take the footage of Mike with the microphone and dub in some crazy death metal or hardcore punk...please make his happen!
I'd like to think Mike is singing "Straight Edge Revenge" here...
2.) The discovery that "good ol' boy" Shelby Overman has been eaten by the shark; there's a cool 3-D effect of his severed arm floating towards the camera and, once the guests discover his mutilated corpse, a young girl has her face smashed up against the glass, nearly locking lips with his lifeless face! Since someone needs to ID the body, Kay and Mike view the remains, with our hero nearly puking his guts out! There's a brief look at the gory carnage here, with Alves deciding to give the audience what it wants rather than taking Spielberg's "less is more" approach to the original film.
Give us a kiss Beautiful!
3.) The scene where the mama shark finally shows her snout -- much to the surprise of all the guests who become trapped in the underwater sight-seeing tunnels. A young girl -- who is hilariously dubbed -- exclaims "Daddy, look at the fish!" while pointing at the large Carcharodon Carcharias. Dad's response? "Holy shit!" Side note: the underwater tunnels is actually a pretty cool-looking amusement in the vein of Tobe Hooper's The Funhouse! If this were a real thing, I'd be there in a heartbeat!
Run...to...the...hills! Run...for...your...life!
4.) The final showdown where our heroes are trapped in an underwater control room with the 35-foot charging Great White. Yes, the effect of the shark charging is terrible-looking (even by 1983 standards), but it's a very cool idea, if not a bit preposterous considering the way the monster is eventually dispatched. At this point, The Last Shark's Enzo Castellari must have somehow commandeered the production, throwing all continuity and logic out the window!
You better earn those paychecks and act scared as shit!
Bruce 3 always wanted to break into showbiz!
All in all, Jaws 3-D proved to be a modest hit for Universal, eventually chumming the waters enough for 1987's Jaws: The Revenge, which ultimately sunk the franchise. One wonders though without the 3-D gimmick or, had Universal not gotten such cold feet and went with the originally intended Jaws 3, People 0 spoof to be directed by Joe Dante (and Animal House's Matty Simmons as Producer and a script co-written by John Hughes!!), would the film have been as successful? For my money, I'd still LOVE to see someone make Jaws 3, People 0 happen -- come on Universal, what have you got to lose?!?
Right about now, you're probably asking yourself "Why is he starting with this turd?" Truth is, it's the only one that I saw on its original theatrical release and, to this day, it holds some special value for me. Since all three Jaws sequels were finally released on bluray this week, I thought I'd take a look back starting with what is arguably the worst of the bunch, but first, a little background... If ever there was a movie series ingrained into my DNA outside of the usual suspects -- Indiana Jones, Rocky, etc. -- it would definitely be the Jaws franchise. One of my favorite childhood memories is of one of my first walks with my Dad to the local general store in my hometown (even though it was around the block from our house, it may as well have been a few miles to my tiny legs). Before that, I had always been carried, but this time I insisted on walking myself. Once we got there, Dad bought me a rubber toy shark, which I distinctly remember being carded and having the Jaws logo on it; turns out it that it was an original Chem Toys rubber shark from 1975. To this day, I'm amazed that I still have the thing and it's still in as great condition as it is . . .
This guy swallowed many a G.I. Joe and Star Wars figure in the bath tub!
Another cool tie to the Jaws franchise was a local place called The Forge & Anvil. From what I understand, it was actually where my parents first met, and today it would be akin to a sports bar (though it's sadly gone). Mom and Dad used to take me there frequently for pizza and, no joke, it always seemed that one of the first two Jaws movies was playing on TV when we'd be there! When I watch the movies today, I can't help but feel nostalgic for watching them from atop a stool in that crowded bar! In 1987, when Jaws: The Revenge was released, my parents took me to see it at the then newly-opened Princeton MarketFair in West Windsor, NJ. At the time, to my 4yr old eyes, the screen that we saw the movie on seemed like the size of a skyscraper! I'll never forget just how gigantic it seemed during the shot of Jake being pulled underwater was shown! From that point on, I was hot on everything Jaws: The Revenge, even keeping two of the cool foldout advertisements from TV Guide!
This was half traumatizing and half cool as hell as a 4yr old!
The one above is the ad folded out and the one below is the unfolded version.
Let's be fair: Jaws: The Revenge is not a great film...it's not even a very good one for that matter. But I'm positive that I'm still able to overlook its many shortcomings filtered through my own nostalgia for it. In an interesting spin on the series, the film starts off at Christmas time on Amity Island where Ellen Brody and her youngest son Sean are prepping dinner. Following in his late father's footsteps (since Roy Scheider apparently said NOPE and is instead present via a framed photograph), Sean is now a deputy with the Amity PD when he gets called at the end of his shift. In a particularly terrifying sequence, Sean is attacked by a shark out in the harbor. Meanwhile, Ellen is convinced that it's the same shark that killed Martin (via a heart-attack induced by fright over the damned thing no doubt) and it's now coming for her. Eldest son Sean (once played by Dennis Quaid in Jaws 3D, but now is here played by Lance Guest of Halloween II) persuades Ellen to come stay with him and his family for the holidays in the Bahamas, where he is a marine biologist.
I vaguely recall a TV version with the bloody area literally blacked out by a black box!
First Michael Myers and now Bruce The Shark!?
(cue "Holiday Road" by Linsdey Buckingham) Apparently the Great White shark that killed Sean in the first reel has some sort of GPS and is then able to follow Ellen to the Bahamas for more fun! Naturally, there's the scientific fact that sharks wouldn't be able to survive in this particular climate...but, just forget that and have fun with the movie. Also along for the ride are Mario Van Peebles (with a silly island accent) and Michael Caine (as a love interest for Ellen), as the shark continues to terrorize Ellen and Michael (and eat a few people in the process). What follows is a bit of a cat and mouse game (Mike and Van Peebles' Jake first spot the shark out in the water while they're working, but vow to hide it from Ellen and everyone else) combined with the type of psychological paranoia seen in Friday the 13th Part V before it finally climaxes in a fight to the death on the high seas.
Michael Caine: "The movie bought me a house! What'd you guys get?"
For me, the main standout sequence is the banana boat attack in the last half of the film. Here, Michael's daughter is on a boat ride with a bunch of other kids when the shark suddenly attacks, killing an adult who basically sacrifices herself to save the little girl! Mike's daughter of course goes into shock and the cat is finally out of the bag that the shark is here! It's bloody and kinda brutal in that A.) Someone gets eaten by the shark and B.) That someone gets eaten by a shark in front of kids! Another fun sequence is when Michael gets attacked in his little yellow submarine: the shark tears it to pieces and then chases him into a wrecked ship. Sure, it's got some really obvious shark mechanics on display (more on that later), but it was a pretty damned terrifying scene when I first saw the movie!
Somebody say Land Shark?!
Depending on when/how you watch Jaws: The Revenge, you may see a completely different ending. The US Theatrical Ending ("Ending #1) was what I most remember; Jake is grabbed by the shark from the stern, presumably eaten, and Ellen rams the broken stern wood into the shark. Shark bleeds out and breaks the front of the ship off, sinking to the bottom of the ocean with it. The International Theatrical Ending ("Ending #2) also wound up as the US VHS/DVD and, today, most TV airings. Here, Jake is grabbed by the shark, and Ellen rams the broken stern into it. What differs here is that the shark inexplicably explodes on impact and this glorious death is padded out with footage from the original film. Also in this ending, the heroes find themselves floating amongst busted up ship debris and Jake miraculously survives! This bit is particularly cringe-worthy as it was shot in a tank on the Universal back lot exclusively for the international release . . . if you look closely, the "sky" is clearly a wall at the back of the tank that the "ocean" smacks up against numerous times!
To me, Ending #2 further sabotages a film that could have been salvageable via some incredibly tight editing. The scenes shot in the tank are so painfully out of place with the rest of the sequence that you can almost picture the cast stopping by the back lot for the shoot on their way to another gig. One wonders why Universal felt the need for the different ending that has Jake survive; even as a kid, I was okay with him dying, as it added some additional weight to the struggle to finally kill the damned shark! Having Jake miraculously survive being grabbed by a Great White, with only a torn shirt and some blood around him is almost as bad as having Jaws 3D's FitzRoyce remain fully intact inside the shark's mouth (after another character was already eaten after him). Aside from the obvious problems Jaws: The Revenge has going against it, I've always felt that it feels a little too much like a made for TV movie. From the very beginning, the opening credits stink of cheap and lazy font. And Michael Small's musical score feels cheap and uninspired throughout; even the classic John Williams theme is lame here. Though it may be surprising that Director/Producer Joseph Sargent made a classic like The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, his major output was either episodic television or TV movies, making it fairly obvious why the film looks as shoddy as it does. Clearly, Universal was squeezing the last few dollars it could out of a worn-out franchise while spending as little as possible. This is unfortunate because, had some true talent been involved behind the scenes (Michael De Guzman's script is pretty inept -- with Ellen having flashbacks to scenes from Jawswhen she wasn't even a part of them in the first place), this could have been something worth bragging about had it taken a The Final Chapter, The Final Nightmare, or The Final Friday approach that other genre franchises took. Almost 30 (??!?) years later, we still haven't seen another sequel (despite Back To The Future Part II's promise of a Jaws 19 this year!), prequel (there always seemed to be hope for a film based on Quint's experience aboard the USS Indianapolis) or a remake/reboot of the original (thank God!) and one wonders if we'll ever see another Jaws movie. Over the years, there have been various rumors about a fifth film focusing on the Matt Hooper character, but nothing has materialized beyond internet chatter. Ultimately, for a franchise that continues to shape and define the modern movie blockbuster, it's a shame that its initial shine gradually deteriorated into the sun-dried dog turd that is Jaws: The Revenge.
